Imperial Palace — Carriage Lot — INCIDENT REPORT

Filed by: Amalguard ‘JA AL-WANI, CONTESSA

Art by Alana Fletcher.

On Wednesday, April 19, 887 Amal Era, rookie TRENT MARKER and I were performing our assigned duties at the Ticket Payment Station of the Imperial Palace Carriage Lot. We were accepting tickets from patrons who had parked carriages in the lot for the Conclave but were now leaving.

On or around 1200 hours, a carriage bearing the Roarer House Sigil approached us. The driver was a female in her mid-40s. She handed us her parking ticket and said, “It’s taken so long to get out of here, it feels like the next Conclave is about to begin,” or words to that effect. I apologized for the delay and explained I was training MARKER on the job. I verified her ticket and rang up her charge. I do not recall the exact cost, but she had parked overnight. When she heard the price, she grew belligerent and referred to a discounted price. I told her to receive that price she would have had to validate the ticket prior to leaving the Palace grounds. She insisted I validate the ticket there. By now, the line out of the lot was at least thirteen carriages deep. I know this because the line was turning along the east side of the lot. I told the driver she could pay now and leave or return to the Palace grounds and have her ticket validated by a clerk. She chose to return to the Palace for validation. MARKER left our Station to direct traffic backwards so she could return to the lot. As she did so, she asked if I had children. Before I could respond, she said she would drown them in skunk shit, or words to that effect.

MARKER and I resumed collecting payments from exiting carriages. On or around 1300 hours, the House Roarer carriage returned. The woman handed us her now-validated ticket and said, “I hope my validated rate means you have less to eat tonight,” or words to that effect. I told her Amalguard receive square portions and that parking fees contribute to the funding of Amalcross’s public roads. I verified her validation and informed her of her new charge, which was one sun more than the price she quoted because she had crossed another hour since her ingress time. Once again, she grew belligerent and shouted, “Do you know who I am?,” or words to that effect. I said I did not know who she was. She announced herself as KAREN ‘JA ROARER (KJR) and said she was “a rising matron of House Roarer,” or words to that effect. I paid my respects and asked to receive her payment. She refused to pay the additional sun and insisted I allow her exit for a price she quoted to me. I told her I could not do so. This conversation continued until the line behind her was 20 or more carriages deep. I know this because I could see carriages backing up along the east side of the lot and turning into the north side of the lot. Also, drivers were yelling. KJR demanded to speak to our supervisory officer. I told her our supervisor was in the palace. KJR demanded to return to the palace grounds, so MARKER directed traffic backwards again so she could re-park again. As she did so, she asked if I had a husband. Before I could respond, she said she would drown him in skunk shit alongside my children, or words to that effect.

Karen ‘ja Roarer’s parking ticket, found crinkled-up in the northern section of the Imperial Palace Carriage Lot (presumably thrown into the wind in a rage). Art by Robert Frankel.

On or around 1400 hours, KJR returned. She drove her carriage around the line and cut to the front. I calmly informed KJR she would have to wait to be allowed egress. Instead, KJR said, “I want to pay now, you righteous cur,” or words to that effect. I agreed to accept the payment so she would not incur additional charges on the condition she still waited for egress at the back of the line. But she refused to hand her ticket to me. After some arguing, it became apparent KJR had lost her ticket. I told her lost tickets must pay the maximum parking fine, at which point she began to throw trash and foodstuffs at MARKER and me. I told MARKER to ring for assistance. It was then that KJR asked me if I had a wife. Before I could respond, KJR said she would drown my wife in skunk shit beside my children and husband, or words to that effect. I do not have children or a husband, but I do in fact have a wife. I delivered a right hook to KJR’s nose, pacifying her instantly.

On or around 1415 hours, the Amalguard detained KJR and impounded her carriage. The rest of the day proceeded without incident.